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Facing Adversity – By Crystal Fretz

 

Misfortune?

Adversity is defined as difficulties or misfortune, but is having a disability really a
misfortune? Sure, it can be a difficulty at times and when the world is not inclusive and
is so judgmental it makes it only that much more difficult.

Living with a disability makes a person no different than an able-bodied person, they just have different capabilities. In all honesty, most are more motivated, driven, hard working and talented than the non-disabled. When faced with adversity, the majority of people rise to the challenge. Therefore, I do not believe that being disabled or facing adversity is a misfortune.

We all want more

When one faces adversity, it can either be the venom that takes your soul and your
light or it can bring strength and resilience. There is an inherent desire in each and
every one of us to want to do more, to be better and not be denied. So when the world
is constantly telling an entire community that they are less, it can be frustrating.

Common Civil Rightshelping each other up a mountain

Imagine trying to do something simple like your shopping or using a public restroom
but cannot access these things because there are obstacles in your way, every single
day. There are no changing places for you or your child with a hoist and a bench. No
ramp for your wheelchair, no captions for the deaf, no accommodations at schools. These are some of the adversities we face and our children face. This is what causes us to advocate for a better life, common civil rights, for ourselves and for our children and their future.

Judgemental

Judgement from others is another adversity faced by those with a disability. In some cases, not all disabilities are visible, so those people often times are judged as lazy, attention seeking, and drug addicts. Some people are stared at and pointed at for their differences, others are called names and laughed at. Sometimes people offer hallow platitudes. This really takes a toll on a persons self confidence. We should all lift one another up and treat each other as if they are one of our family members. Kindness and compassion goes a long way. The expectation of common sense behavior that elevates the dignity and humanity of all should be the standard and begin with you….

How to help

Many face adversity in the medical system. They must fight for a diagnosis, or proper
care. They fight for treatment, coverage and specialty medical equipment. Many times
people with disabilities rely on others (care givers) and finding a trusted family member
or someone hired can be difficult. Most people don’t think of these things. Try to
remember the insurmountable amount of adversity people with disabilities are facing
and reach out. See if you can help, or just listen.

Adversity, use it for fuel

Adversity teaches patience, compassion, higher levels of understanding. It reminds us
to be humble, thankful and kind and take everyday for the blessing that it is. Adversity
also fosters anger, exhaustion, and pain. If you’re not careful it will change you and rob
you of your light and joy. Do not let it take your power. Use it to fuel your drive for
change and to help others. It can give you a purpose in life. Set a goal and don’t let
anything stop you.
“Adversity is just change you haven’t gotten used to.” ~

silhouette of two people highfive

See more of Crystals Blogs

For details of Suicide Prevention Lifeline and Regain – Counselling for individuals or couples both in the U.S. Click here

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Crystal Fretz

I’m a mom to two beautiful warrior girls ages 10 and 12. All three of us deal with several medical conditions. I have Chiari Malformation, EDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) and Fibromyalgia along with chronic headaches. My daughters both have Chiari and EDS. My youngest also has CRPS (complex regional pain syndrome).

2 thoughts on “Facing Adversity – By Crystal Fretz

  1. Crystal is a mother lioness for her two cubs. She fights and protects her daughters just like a lioness in the wild with instinct, love, compassion, and that deep motherly love one has for her offspring. Even though Crystal has her own medical issues, she somehow puts them aside to make sure her daughters are cared for first and properly. She may be exhausted and in pain, but her girls are always her first priority. She is their advocate, their caregiver, their teacher, but first and foremost, their loving mother.

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Aimee

I'm Aimee, and this is my daughter Emily. Emily has spina bifida. I have always found talking to other parents or people with disabilities reassuring. The disabled community is the best community to be part of. I created Rollin' With Mama so we could all share experiences.